Do Something!

A cancer diagnosis left me feeling helpless and dismayed.  I always looked after my body - exercised, ate healthy food, etc. I felt many things were out of my control, after all if I had been doing everything "right", what was the point?  About 18 months post-surgery, I was physically improving but needed help with scattered and angry emotions. I have found a good way to create positive feelings is to use my experience to help others, by raising awareness and helping charities. I quite like the challenge of finding something useful I feel able to do.  I have selected a few charities that helped me personally and a couple of other related ones: Paul's Cancer Support Centre, a small local centre, Maggie's London and Ovacome, which jointly hold a monthly meeting for younger ladies with ovarian cancer, Ovarian Cancer Action, which focuses on raising money for ovarian cancer research, and Target Ovarian Cancer, who tend to focus on campaigns to lobby MPs and policy makers to improve diagnosis times and treatments.  

I took part in a bucket collection yesterday for Ovarian Cancer Action.  It involved standing in a cold Victoria station, shaking some sleigh bells and looking faintly ridiculous in a glittery teal (charity colour) Santa hat. It was quite a tough gig - people are understandably busy and concerned with looking for their trains.  I focused on getting people to look at us!  Earlier in the day, there had been a choir to help out in the morning, which had encouraged people to linger and donate some coins.  The chief fundraiser told me that one year a supporter had bought along a St. Bernard dog and her puppy, which had substantially increased donations with people wanting photos. Yesterday I took over from a lovely family with two young children who looked very cute jumping around with their jingle bells.  The little girl was very serious, telling her mum off for talking to me and encouraging us to "focus".  

The year before last I helped out at a bucket collection for the same charity - on Sunday 15th March, Mothers day.  It was very moving to receive small donations from the public - one man said he donated because he had lost his mum to the disease.  It was also lovely to have mums encouraging their children (or the other way round) to put some cash in my bucket.  But my main impression from the day was meeting Abbie, a lovely trainee nurse who had sadly lost her mum to ovarian cancer.  She was bravely taking part in fund-raising on Mother's day in her memory and was a real credit to her family.  It is  not easy standing there and talking to the public, especially if you have a personal connection to the disease, but it does make you more determined to do something.  Even if you only end up with a few pounds, you see people looking at your banners and badges and it helps to raise awareness.

I find the collection days satisfying but not easy; however, there are obviously other ways to help charities.  An enjoyable thing I have found is to review books for Macmillan.  If you join their Cancer Voices network, you can select from a range of advertised opportunities that are listed for patients/survivors/carers/relatives to help other charities.  There are new relevant books published regularly which Macmillan ask to be reviewed in order to recommend them or otherwise to hospitals, support groups, doctors or nurses, etc.  You are sent a copy of the book and are asked to provide a review based on set questions, such as who do you thing the book is suitable for, what did you like about it, etc.

Other things I have done for charities include: bucket collections at Sainsbury's and the Royal Albert Hall; taking part in a focus group for Eve appeal (they were discussing the implementation of a helpline with a nurse to discuss people's concerns, this has now been put in place); signed an e-petition on Change.org 31st March as part of Ovarian Cancer Action's BRCA Right to Know campaign for Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month 2015. It called for all women with a diagnosis of ovarian cancer to have access to BRCA gene genetic testing - a mutation in one of these genes increases the likelihood of developing ovarian cancer by around 50%; I have taken part as a catwalk model at Tea with Ovacome at the Mayfair for several years now; I have given talks to raise awareness with GPs and nurses, and also to a group of patients at St Goerge's Hospital.  

These things are not done totally altruistically, they ALWAYS help me to feel better about myself, to use my hideous experience and turn it into positive action.

Always a good idea to increase the cuteness factor when collecting!

Young Women's Ovarian Cancer Support Group

I first met K. at Paul's Cancer Support Centre where we were both taking the Healing Journey Course (now known as Coping With Cancer Stress). She immediately impressed with her eloquence about how she felt and the things she was going through.  She had a fantastic sense of humour and we got on very well. Neither of us opened up about what type of cancer we had; for my part I found it was difficult thinking about it specifically, let alone talking about it in front of a group of people I didn't know very well.  But as the weeks passed and the sessions broke into smaller groups to talk about issues in greater depth, K. and I realised we had a lot of problems in common to do with our illness.  We started going out for lunch or a coffee on my day off and she told me she was thinking of setting up a support group to help younger women with ovarian cancer. 
Unfortunately, with a gynae cancer you are often surrounded by older ladies in waiting rooms and gynae support groups.  It can feel even more isolating to have a "rare" cancer at a younger age and you often feel adrift with no-one to talk to who understands.  Friends don't/can't always deal with things and can drift away.  I accompanied K. who had arranged to talk to Bernie, the fantastic manager of Maggie's West London who agreed to start a small support group in association with Ruth from Ovacome, the ovarian cancer support charity. 



I am delighted to say that several years later we are still meeting once a month and the number of young ladies who receive support and advice from the group continues to grow.  It is an informal meeting, 6.30-8.30 on the first Wednesday of each month.  People can raise any issues they are struggling with and there is always a professional available to talk to or point you in the right direction for further information.  We sometimes have a speaker presenting on relevant topics such as HRT or nutrition.  One of the ladies in the group kindly led a set of yoga sessions at Maggie's.  
The building itself is worth a mention. While it is next to Charing Cross Hospital on an extremely busy road, it is designed to provide a shield from the outside world and is definitely a haven, always with a welcome and a place to sit quietly or chat to someone. 

 

Unfortunately my lovely friend K. is no longer with us, but her legacy is a marvellous thing and she herself knew how much it means to all of us.  I continue to go to the meetings because although I am now physically OK (mostly), there are always new emotional hurdles to deal with and in K.'s honour I am proud to attend as a "veteran" and hopefully to help provide support to others going through similar things.

Model Behaviour

Today was the first Tea with Ovacome 2015 meeting for the 12 catwalk models to select our Apricot clothes (one causal and one dressy outfit).  I started the day believing I'd gone to the wrong place when I arrived around the back of Wembley Stadium in a deserted retail park. There was definitely tumble-weed in the car park behind a locked gate.  But inside, there was a lunch laid out and a lot of bustle around the rails of clothes.  Apricot have been wholeheartedly supporting the event since 2013 and have designed a second limited edition dress for the occasion; the proceeds of the dress go to Ovacome - last year it raised £17 K for the charity.  It will be on sale in March which is designated Ovarian Cancer Awareness month.

One of the nicely organized dress rails before the hoard of ladies hit it

Apricot's 2014 teal dress beautifully modelled by Adele, the organizer of Tea with Ovacome.

A sneaky peak of the 2015 dress:

And a few pictures from Tea With Ovacome 2013 and 2014:

Must go now to practice my "walk".

Tea With Ovacome 2013

This photo "rocking the kaftan" (designer: BEyouT) was taken a year ago at the "Tea with Ovacome" day that my friend organizes at the Mayfair hotel.  I am now a "veteran" model and took part again this year in the fashion show that forms part of the entertainment during the gorgeous spread of cakes and sandwiches that the hotel lay on.  This year 250 people attended, with all proceeds from tickets and raffles and auctions going to Ovacome, a charity that supports women with ovarian cancer.  It is dear to my heart as I attend a monthly support group for younger women with ovarian cancer.  Although my cancer was uterine, rather than ovarian, it is also rare in younger women and there are no suitable support groups for women like me who are (were) pre-menopausal.  The younger group was set up by a very dear friend who is no longer with us, and I like to go to help keep her spirit alive in the group, but also it is an uplifting experience and I have met some amazing and inspirational ladies who I am proud to call my friends. 7 of them were my co-models in the fashion show, which took place on Saturday March 16th this year.  We had a lot of fun and there was plenty of giggling and nerves back stage, but by the time we had practised our walks and attitudes all morning and chosen some suitable music, we were well into the spirit of the thing and were cheered on by the welcoming crowd.  Hopefully a good lot of money was raised for the charity.  My colleague from work generously donated her time and talents to create some Mehndi tatoos and to help us with our make-up, which she did so well last year.
I'm already looking forward to next year........