Young Women's Ovarian Cancer Support Group

I first met K. at Paul's Cancer Support Centre where we were both taking the Healing Journey Course (now known as Coping With Cancer Stress). She immediately impressed with her eloquence about how she felt and the things she was going through.  She had a fantastic sense of humour and we got on very well. Neither of us opened up about what type of cancer we had; for my part I found it was difficult thinking about it specifically, let alone talking about it in front of a group of people I didn't know very well.  But as the weeks passed and the sessions broke into smaller groups to talk about issues in greater depth, K. and I realised we had a lot of problems in common to do with our illness.  We started going out for lunch or a coffee on my day off and she told me she was thinking of setting up a support group to help younger women with ovarian cancer. 
Unfortunately, with a gynae cancer you are often surrounded by older ladies in waiting rooms and gynae support groups.  It can feel even more isolating to have a "rare" cancer at a younger age and you often feel adrift with no-one to talk to who understands.  Friends don't/can't always deal with things and can drift away.  I accompanied K. who had arranged to talk to Bernie, the fantastic manager of Maggie's West London who agreed to start a small support group in association with Ruth from Ovacome, the ovarian cancer support charity. 



I am delighted to say that several years later we are still meeting once a month and the number of young ladies who receive support and advice from the group continues to grow.  It is an informal meeting, 6.30-8.30 on the first Wednesday of each month.  People can raise any issues they are struggling with and there is always a professional available to talk to or point you in the right direction for further information.  We sometimes have a speaker presenting on relevant topics such as HRT or nutrition.  One of the ladies in the group kindly led a set of yoga sessions at Maggie's.  
The building itself is worth a mention. While it is next to Charing Cross Hospital on an extremely busy road, it is designed to provide a shield from the outside world and is definitely a haven, always with a welcome and a place to sit quietly or chat to someone. 

 

Unfortunately my lovely friend K. is no longer with us, but her legacy is a marvellous thing and she herself knew how much it means to all of us.  I continue to go to the meetings because although I am now physically OK (mostly), there are always new emotional hurdles to deal with and in K.'s honour I am proud to attend as a "veteran" and hopefully to help provide support to others going through similar things.

Words and Mental Images

I was thinking about how my life was before cancer (BC) and after the diagnosis (AD). At one of my first meetings of the Healing Journey, we had a discussion with a clinical hypnotherapist. He explained to us that even if we see an image of something that unnerves us or causes us stress, the body reacts instinctively to that image and by-passes the conscious thought pathway; for instance, if you hate spiders and see a picture of one, there are physical (even if undetected consciously) changes in the body which react to stress and ultimately prepare us for the "fight or flight" reflex.
By even thinking about how I would use the initials BC or AD in this blog as mentioned above, possibly my body is also reacting to those words with instinctive revulsion and upset, bringing to mind as they do the horrible all-to-near-the-surface memories of my illness.  From now on I have consciously decided to re-brand them Before my time as Cinderella (not going to the ball, stuck at home feeling lonely and upset) and after my time in Disneyland (my time in hospital and recovering at home was certainly another world which felt very unreal).  Surprisingly, I can already feel my mind picturing the cartoon Cinderella and Disneyland and maybe this marks yet another change in thinking.  This does not mean I am denying all the things that have happened to me, rather just a re-branding exercise which may mean I can begin to think and talk about things a bit more freely without the added stress induced by extra unwanted images and thoughts.