I was thinking about how my life was before cancer (BC) and after the diagnosis (AD). At one of my first meetings of the Healing Journey, we had a discussion with a clinical hypnotherapist. He explained to us that even if we see an image of something that unnerves us or causes us stress, the body reacts instinctively to that image and by-passes the conscious thought pathway; for instance, if you hate spiders and see a picture of one, there are physical (even if undetected consciously) changes in the body which react to stress and ultimately prepare us for the "fight or flight" reflex.
By even thinking about how I would use the initials BC or AD in this blog as mentioned above, possibly my body is also reacting to those words with instinctive revulsion and upset, bringing to mind as they do the horrible all-to-near-the-surface memories of my illness. From now on I have consciously decided to re-brand them Before my time as Cinderella (not going to the ball, stuck at home feeling lonely and upset) and after my time in Disneyland (my time in hospital and recovering at home was certainly another world which felt very unreal). Surprisingly, I can already feel my mind picturing the cartoon Cinderella and Disneyland and maybe this marks yet another change in thinking. This does not mean I am denying all the things that have happened to me, rather just a re-branding exercise which may mean I can begin to think and talk about things a bit more freely without the added stress induced by extra unwanted images and thoughts.
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