Thanks, I found it!

I must walk around with my eyes facing down, because I always find (and pick up!) lots of jewellery.  All the pieces above (and more) have been found on the street.  There is even a pair of matching earrings which I found weeks apart in different places (I replace the hooks). The trick is spotting potential and having the patience to wait until inspiration comes as to how to use them. Recently my magpie tendencies began to pay off as Accessorize have been selling off broken pieces in their Winter sale for 10 or 20 p each; for grand total of £4.90 I managed to get a collection of about 20 pendants, brooches and earrings (RRP £224.00) which I have been able to piece together using some of the above loose stones and a few jump-rings (very inexpensive in craft/hobby shops).

I've spent a few happy hours putting everything together and take pleasure choosing something interesting to wear every day.  I also think of my Grandparents - I use my Grandad's watchmaking pliers and hope he would be proud.  

I inherited the "finding gene" from my Nan (I am in genetics, it DOES exist!) as I have a few gold rings that she found over the years (her findings were higher class).  Who says the streets of London aren't paved with gold?  Beady eyes, that's the secret. 

Goal-Setting: My Treasured Space

The Coping With Cancer Stress Course had a couple of sessions discussing the usefulness of setting goals.  I wasn't immediately sure how helpful it would be but we were encouraged to set some short-term, medium-term and long-term goals as a way of focusing our thoughts and having some aims, no matter how large or small.  There are plenty of websites discussing goal-setting in the context  of careers or sport. 

In a wider sense, it is also a way of thinking about how we spend our time: obviously, cancer has a way of making us face up to our limited time on Earth, and for some of us maybe we can think about goals that have remained hazy or dormant.  Sometimes we may feel limited or trapped in unsatisfying lifestyles or stressed with commitments, but it can be amazing what a bit of determination can achieve even with such constraints.  I was thinking about a few of my goals today as I looked out of my back door onto my Wintry back garden.  The garden looked a bit grey in the evening light, but it made me happy to look at it because it contains the elements of a short-term goal I had set for myself a couple of years ago.  The garden is very small and the whole back wall was covered by a large ivy which had got a bit out of control over the last few years.  

Looking back at my diary at the time, as one of my goals, I decided that the garden could be utilised better - I always sit outside whenever the weather allows, but because the table and chairs were at the end of the garden, I didn't use them enough (they were also covered in pots and seedlings trying to escape the slugs - God, those things must just abseil down in the night!) and they were also in the shady area.  The ivy took up too much space and there was a spot covered by ivy in the far corner that collects the last of the evening sun before it disappears behind the roof of the block of flats.  

Firstly, I thought very specifically about what I would want from the garden in an ideal world and came up with:

A space to sit and have coffee with my husband

A meditation area with something to appeal to every sense

A view from the back living room window (rather than just ivy)

Privacy

A fruit tree

I started by moving and clearing some pots by the back door and made a space for our small garden table and chairs.  I sewed a cheerful table cloth from inexpensive remnants (see previous post Unfinished Business) and have been at great pains to keep it clear of everything except a couple of lanterns.

The next thing was the ivy.  This was a big job every year just to keep cutting it back and it had developed a very thick trunk.  My Dad very kindly borrowed an electric saw and spent an afternoon wrestling with the stump.  This then created a space behind the pond where we put a homemade frame for a raised bed and filled it with compost.  Originally I thought to plant some bamboo in it to create privacy and a lovely rustling noise in the wind, but a gardening friend warned me that bamboo can get out of hand.  I reconsidered, and serendipitously at that time won £200 in gardening vouchers writing about "My Treasured Space" for Groundwork.  The vouchers went towards 2 fruit trees: an apple and a gage, chosen for their fruit, hardiness and flowers (all of these aspects remain to be seen!).

Fruit tree in the background

The meditation area next to the pond was created easily by buying a few decking tiles from Homebase and just laying them down on top of the concrete paving, creating a space just big enough for a lovely sun chair, which is hidden from view by a curly hazel (given to me in a pot by my parents years ago and now thriving in the soil).  A delicate wind chime given to me years ago by my Nan and Grandad hangs in the hazel with a selection of birdfeeders.  Some white solar fairy lights add a bit of magic in the early evening.

Robin and goldfinch in the hazel

The outcomes have been; 

I enjoy breakfasts in the Summer outside,

I am hidden from view when meditating,

The fruit trees can be seen from our lounge and will provide fruit, flowers and privacy as they grow,

The birds perch in the trees and can be seen from the lounge enjoying the food - in a London garden we have managed to attract woodpigeons, wrens, robins, blackbirds, great tits (produced 2 broods of babies last year in our birdbox), goldfinches and a lovely dunnock.  We have a visiting squirrel, mice and have even seen a hedgehog once.  I photograph all of them and participate in on-line wildlife photography pages (e.g. Spotter Jotter, a marvellous site with some very experience bird watchers and other wildlife enthusiasts who help with ID when required).

A great tit feeding his brood

When meditating, I can concentrate on sounds (the wind, leaves, wind-chime, birdsong; there was a solar fountain but was broken by a cat fight!), smell (lavender and rosemary planted in pots which can be moved around), touch (the feel of the hazel branches) and the view (of the pond, the fruit trees).

When  not meditating, I can read in the last of the evening Summer sun.

I think about my family and friends who have helped to create the garden: my mum and dad who have put a lot of hours into it, my husband who over the years has helped me take loads of ivy to the tip, my nan and grandad, my cousin Teresa and her partner who put in a strong trellis and moved a huge rose bush, my on-line photography community, my community garden friends who occasionally store things here.  It is full of memories now and holds promise for the future.

So from a modest short-term goal, my life has been enriched in all these ways, some foreseen, some unforeseen.  I shall continue to enjoy my tiny patch of ground:  because it is so small, I know every inch of it and the wildlife that visits.  I haven't any concrete aims for it this year, but have some emerging ideas of creating a more Zen feel and to explore the ways that the Japanese create harmony and mindfulness in small ways in their gardens, for instance I vaguely remember I read somewhere that because space is at a premium for many Japanese, even the way that a piece of twine is tied becomes important, i.e. there is a focus on tiny details.  This is a good way to take your imagination away from unpleasant thoughts and to give your mind something restful, hopeful and calming to ruminate on. 

Small details can be fascinating!

What goals do you have for the short or long-term?  How will you achieve them?  Think of the barriers that have prevented you from doing them.  What practical steps can you take to overcome them now?

Homemade Almond Milk

Following on from my healthy eating theme of the last post (Christmas Sprouts) I thought I'd include a very simple way of making your own almond milk - no special equipment (nut bags, anyone?) required.

I haven't replaced all my milk with almond milk because it does not naturally contain calcium (although the nuts do) and as my cancer has left me at risk of osteoporosis, I need to keep those levels up.  However, almond milk is lower in calories (approx. 30 calories per cup vs. 90 for skimmed milk and 150 for whole milk) than other milks and doesn't contain saturated fat, so I use it on my cereal.

It's really easy, firstly just soak a handful of unblanched almonds in water overnight.  

This step isn't even strictly necessary from a recipe point of view but nutritionally, it removes protease (enzyme) inhibitors from the nut skin which occur naturally and prevent the nuts from germinating.  It is believed that removing these inhibitors activates the enzymes and makes nutrients more available for digestion. (I don't know if "raw" almonds have been pre-processed before packaging, which may make this point irrelevant; I think most raw nuts available in the U.K. have been treated to remove toxins but theoretically still retain the ability to germinate). Then add the nuts to fresh water (I used about 700 ml, doesn't need to be exact).  

A quick blitz in a blender is all that's required before sieving the liquid and keeping it in the fridge. I keep it in a re-used milk container. 

It does separate so just give it a quick shake before each use.  I presume that stabilisers, gums and fats are added to commercial brands to prevent this separation, but the homemade version tastes the same, if not better, to me and there are no added sugar or sweeteners (also I note that the Alpro brand only contains 2% almonds, see their website, although it does have added vitamins and calcium).

The remaining nut pulp can be added to breakfast cereal and I have also found it's good added to bread and cake recipes as it keeps the mixture moist and increases the protein content (healthy cakes? Count me in!).

  

Christmas Sprouts (not that kind)

I haven't appreciated the latest "study" that suggests up to 90% of cancers are due to lifestyle and environment. Many people have no known reason for their illness, many are genetic and many are out of our control (including the environment - I would love to live on a mountain in the Pyrenees but there are not many genetics labs there I could work in). Having said that, it is always a good idea to eat a sensible diet and I am keen to add nutrients whenever I can to every meal, especially this time of year when you find yourself running from work to meet someone for a drink and are not necessarily in the right place for a healthy meal.  I have found an easy, low-effort way of ensuring some healthy food is always available.  A few years ago I bought a seed sprouter - it was about £15 but you can easily just use a big glass jar.  You soak the seeds in water overnight, then just rinse them into the trays, which have grrooves that the small roots can grip on and also fine drainage holes.  The seeds sprout the next day and within 2 or 3 days you have a tray of greenery.   

I add them to sandwiches, salads and stir them into soups and stews.  But if in a hurry, I just add them to my toast with peanut butter or in a wrap with some salad laves and some leftover roast chicken. The only effort involved is rinsing the seeds with water twice a day to keep them damp - I keep them on the windowsill by the kitchen sink to remind me, but they don't need much light or space so they are ideal for small kitchens. The seeds I grew at the start were in mixed packets of alfalfa, radish, cress, mustard etc., which were designed for that purpose, but I have recently been trying out lentils, mung beans and aduki beans in larger packs from health shops which grow beautifully and add a nutty taste and delicious crunchy texture to your salads.

Once they have been growing about a week, they tend to get a bit straggly, so you can put them in a container in the fridge just before this point (make sure the last water was a few hours before, so they are not wet) and they last perfectly well for another few days.  

If you try the jar method, to rinse the sprouts every day, you can just wash them out into a sieve and then put them back in the jar.  They grow perfectly well but you find that with a seed sprouter, the delicate seedlings are not disturbed so much and tend to be a bit sturdier.


I made a nice accompaniment for my sprouts today - buckwheat pancakes. Cheated a bit with a mix, but added eggs, milk and water. Heated the batter gently in a pan with a bit of oil. Healthy and full of good quality protein.

Happy Christmas Sprouting!

Life as Art - Ai Weiwei

I enjoyed Ai Weiwei's exhibition at the Royal Academy with Catherine last night. I saw his previous Sunflower Seeds at the Tate Modern and heard about his detention in China on the news, but had not really investigated his work any further.  I was unexpectedly moved by his pieces, which all have a lot of thought and meaning associated with them. One shocking room at first sight had an unusual rolling landscape of steel rods on the floor (150 tons of straightened rebar), which I was looking at when I realised the walls of the huge space had panels on them with small writing.  On closer inspection, the writing was a list of names - over 5000 names of children and students who had died in the Sichuan earthquake of 2008. This is tragic enough, but it forms a political statement because the steel rods are from the remains of buildings - collapsed schools - that weren't properly built to withstand earthquakes.  He incurred the wrath of the Chinese authorities who had tried to cover up the scale of the disaster.  He was detained for 81 days in 2011 - his thoughts about this are also represented in the exhibition as "S.A.C.R.E.D.".  We are invited to spy on him through half life size dioramas in 6 boxes as he was watched closely (and I mean very closely, not more than a few inches away) by 2 policemen at all times, even in the toilet and while sleeping.

I was amazed to see the chandelier (in the distance the top photo) up close - it was actually made from bicycles - the mundane made beautiful and unexpected.

He also has much to say on the freedom to move across borders.  Viewed from above, the bolted- together pieces of ancient temples form the outline shape of China, with Taiwan represented by some joined footstools.  We can't see the shape but are able to walk through it easily, unlike many who live there. 

Traditional craftsmanship, shapes, scale, repetition, unexpected materials (rare wood, marble, crystal, compressed tea) and the value we put on things are other themes.

As the artist said himself, "Life is art.  Art is life.  I never separate it".

See the Guardian review of the exhibition here.

https://www.royalacademy.org.uk/article/ai-weiwei-rules-for-life-and-art 

Stoic Week 2nd - 9th November 2015

Stoicism seems to overlap with a lot of the Coping With Cancer Stress course and also my normal life working in the NHS (Ha Ha). I thought I may as well learn a bit more about it and enrolled on the free on-line course offered by Exeter University, Stoic Week 2015. 
The Stoics aimed to improve their mental, emotional and physical resilience.  
The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Roman Emperor (161-180 AD) are surprisingly applicable to modern life. He is considered one of the most important Stoic philosophers, along with Epictetus, Seneca, Socrates and Zeno.  He did not find the Imperial life of an Emperor appealing, but took the office as he saw it his duty, in line with his philosophy. He was careful and thoughtful in matters of the law.  He was not physically strong but persevered to share the hardships of his reign with common soldiers on the battlefield.

One of my favourite quotes from Aurelius is:

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present".

He reminds us that we have everything we need within ourselves to face the future - after all, we have got ourselves to this point.

The thoughts of Epictetus, an ex-slave are written in the Enchiridion (Manual of Epictetus) as a short manual of Stoic philosophy. He lived in poverty with the Earth, sky and a cloak.

"Don't demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well".

"If anyone tells you that such a person speaks ill of you, don't make excuses about what is said of you, but answer: " He does not know my other faults, else he would not have mentioned only these."

The Stoics were quite keen on a bit of contemplation in the morning to help get your thoughts into perspective in order to face the day.  This from Marcus Aurelius:

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."

For other Marcus Aurelius quotes, have a look at this link.

I've quite enjoyed this week of thinking about philosophy, it certainly helps in those tedious work meetings to remember

“....it is in your power to retire into yourself whenever you choose.” 

From http://existentialcomics.com/comic/102 

Not Buying It (Traffic Jam)

I read a thoughtful book a while ago by Judith Levine called "Not Buying It" (2006).  It describes her year without shopping which she decided to try with her husband after a particularly fraught Christmas (when is it not?) .  She wanted to spend time and direct her resources towards doing other things instead of shopping (apart from essentials).  It got me noticing more articles about living responsibly.
Buy Nothing Day has been "celebrated" as an international day of protest against consumerism since it was first set up in Canada in 1992.  In the USA it is held on the Friday after Thanksgiving, the same day as Black Friday which is one of the busiest shopping days of the year. I have been thinking about this sort of thing for a while, partly from an ecological point of view and enjoyment from trying to live a bit of the "Good Life" in the urban wilds of Wandsworth and partly for financial reasons.  However, it's also because of the creeping feeling of "Stuffocation", a word coined by James Wallman for his recent book which describes what it feels like; drowning under a pile of stuff. Read a February 2015 Guardian article about experientialism vs. materialism by Wallman here.  It seems a good time to think about it with the "Keep Sunday Special" campaign being debated again after George Osborne's announcement during his budget speech of a consultation of Sunday shop-opening hours (yes, I wrote this a little while ago).
Gradually over the last few years I've been making more and more conscious decisions to spend less money and instead spend time cooking, making things and pursuing hobbies from a back-to-basics approach.  I like making meals from scratch, including most of our dinners, soups, sauces, bread, pies, cakes, jam.  For the jam, I pick blackberries rather improbably on Wandsworth Roundabout every year to make what my droll Dad named "Traffic Jam".  The tally this year is 3.5 kg of blackberries and counting.  

Berry harvest, 14th July 2015

This year has been a bit rubbish for vegetables (even Monty had trouble with his tomatoes on BBC2 last week) but over the last couple of years I've managed to grow some of my own fruit and veg (blackcurrants, redcurrants, raspberries, kale, sage, parsley, rosemary, basil, all sorts of other herbs, chillies, lavender, potatoes, runner beans, French beans, chard, spinach, rocket, tomatoes, Jerusalem artichokes, fennel).  I did rather enjoy the smug feeling a few weeks ago when I passed my local Farmer's market selling kale at a ridiculous price, then a few steps further on picking my own which I planted in our Community Garden.  
My pet worms in the wormery compost bin have been working well for years now; all our food waste goes into it and the busy worms produce a nice lot of compost which goes straight back onto the garden. It probably doesn't sound very interesting or impressive to anyone outside London, but I feel it's a nice achievement in our urban surroundings.  My whole garden is fairly self-sustaining : I dry my artichoke stems each year and use them as bean canes, I weave my hazel clippings around the trellis to reinforce it, rainwater is collected in my water barrel which is an old bin with the swing lid upturned to keep insects and leaves out.  I collect seeds from the veg and flowers to recycle for next year; OK, not a new idea, but it's important to keep the seeds properly (I learnt a lot on a seed collection course at the London Centre for Wildlife Gardening).  On another course at Regent's Park Allotment Garden as part of Capital Growth, I learnt plenty of tips to grow food in containers - one was to re-use half-buried yoghurt pots as water reservoirs in hanging baskets. Hubby's Polish family would be proud - I like to joke that his granny had a part-time job as a witch; she made her own medicines out of deep-rooted traditions and beliefs.  I think she was also ahead of her time - she used to be shocked that grassy roundabouts in England and grass verges were so wasted - why wasn't there a goat on each one? How great would that be? I used to laugh at the idea but now think she had a point.
We don't use our car much, partly because the public transport here is so good, partly because the local traffic jams are so bad (no, not my blackberry traffic jam - that's great!), mostly because I don't like driving.  But anyway we enjoy cycling around here along by the Thames and through the parks.

Cycling along the Thames: 7th July 2015 

I like making my own art - our house has several blown-up photos on canvas from our holiday.  The Camargue flamingo is a favourite.
  

I made a cushion cover to match:

I like making my own birthday cards; this one was for my sister-in-law:

I buy most of my clothes second hand (or vintage as it is known these days) and customise them.  The shirt below (side view) is Liberty silk, found years ago in a Chelsea charity shop when I worked in King's Road (those were the days).  The sleeves became a bit tired under the arms, so I cut them off, reattached the cuffs as cap sleeves, and then added a black and white silk panel from my favourite botanical-inspired designer (Clarissa Hulse off-cuts) down each side. 

The rest of my wardrobe mostly consists of my own old clothes that I alter (OK, make bigger).  The denim jacket below I've had since University and the shoulders recently frayed, so I added a couple of panels of Briar silk for a bit of a camouflage effect.

By spending a lot of time at the gym in the evenings and running (or having a lie-in) on Saturday mornings, it leaves little time left for shopping anyway.  My workplace has no obvious shops nearby to spend superfluous money (not that I have the time either), although it has a nice selection of exotic fruit and veg stalls in the market.
I like to think we have a responsible lifestyle but I'm not claiming to be some sort of eco-guru or anything, I do these things because they absorb me.  It's taken me time to learn techniques and I think it gives me a sense of security that I can do these things from scratch if necessary - make decent(ish) clothes, make cosy furnishings, feed myself from the garden.  I have yet to try knitting but I don't fancy my chances unless one of my arms starts growing longer than the other for some reason.  
I lost a lot of confidence after my cancer diagnosis.  You don't feel in control of anything, even (especially) your own body.  I suspect that I feel better about myself when I can control the food I eat and the environment I spend time in, especially if I can do it in an environmentally-friendly way.
Transition Towns is a movement that promotes sustainable living by creating contacts and wider networks of people, and from this grew our community garden, Bramford, which has really widened my circle of friends and taken me away from the all-absorbing process of feeling sorry for myself.  
Writing the book "Not buying It"and living for a year only buying essentials raised the question for Judith Levine and her husband - what is essential?  She made a list and classed haircuts as essential. I don't. (I can hear my mum - a retired hairdresser- tutting from here). In the end, Levine wasn't too harsh on herself but used the experience to think more deeply about her life choices and why we as humans are naturally acquisitive creatures.  In my case I feel better for not going shopping very often.  I've had a lot of fun doing other stuff instead.  It's a sobering thought that the lifestyle most of us in England live today is beyond the wildest dreams of even the royalty and other rich of the past who didn't have lighting, heating, running water, etc.  Recently having a broken toilet for a couple of weeks has even helped me to truly appreciate a flush!